Back in the new year!

So this week I’ve been doing alot of work, which keeps my mind occupied so I’m not constantly thinking about trying to get off. I recently got an email from Mistress Katrina teasing me about allowing a release before the weekend, which would have been nice, but I figured I was so busy it would have been ok if I wasnt allowed an release.

Saturday I was scouting around to get that new Wii game system, and on a lark found out that Target would have one, so I ended up buying a chair and two blankets to wait out for it. I know, I know, very nerdish. At 6pm I drove by and noone was outside of BB or Target (there were 5 people at Circuit city since noon, haha). I went around again at 9pm and saw that best buy had like 15 people already in their chairs lined up, and BB was only getting “15 or so”, so in a panic i drove by Target and saw only 4 people. So I propped my chair out and my blankets (Im in Florida, so it was only in the 50s at night). So I spent the entirety of Saturday night sitting in a chair and talking to people, and I had a pretty good time suprisingly. Got my wii in the morning, and then virtually slept the entire rest of the day.

Sunday I I had a bit of free time and saw a closed lock, check the email and realized that Mistress was only teasing and I wouldnt be allowed to cum till after the weekend. Getting more frustrated now that my mind has a chance to wander, but my body was still out of whack for getting little sleep that morning. So now, monday, and Im fairly desperate. I want to jerk off and release. Of course, now Im wondering if I missed the release day — which would be disastrous! I imagine if I did miss it, I’m going to have to beg to be allowed to release since I miss it, I’m not sure I could handle another week now that mind cant get past the need to get off. It is jsut a waiting game, now.

I’ve been so busy lately that my mind has really had a chance to wander. The first day of being chaste was tough, but since I’ve been so focused on work I haven’t thought much about release. Fairly worthless post this is. Oh well, another day!

So today I felt that usual tingle that wants to be satisfied and found myself checking Mistress Katrina’s website only to see the lock. Which means no squirt, which means no satiating that tingle. Time for a real week, let’s see how I do.

However, I did a very good of keeping myself at empty during the unlocked time. I must say, I think I did a week’s worth of jerking off in that time.

After a bit of period of self-teasing and self-denial, and a case of blue balls that had me taking motrin to try to get to bed, I finally got a release from Mistress. Thank you! I have proceeded to empty myself 4 times already, and have enjoyed everyone of them!

Back to a bit of the self-teasing and denial: I got bored and tried to see what I could do to myself by downloading some porn (of various formats). I gave myself a small case of blue balls. When I took a shower, I was constantly touching myself. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t cum, but I would get to the edge quite a few times. It was like scratching an itch — a bit of relief from the pressure, but the comfort was temporary because every time I would do it, the pressure built and built. And I would do it again for that momentary peace and suffer after with an even worse tightness in my loins. It was a bit crazy. However the worst was when watching porn, not that seeing sex or breasts didn’t turn me on, but it was seeing other guys cum that really hurt. It hurt my testicles. Seeing other guys freely release their load (on a hot girl no less ) drove home the fact that I couldn’t cum, I couldn’t relieve the tightness in my balls and that I had to suffer till I got permission to empty my balls. But then I got permission to shoot, and felt like a man again after that first load.

Second day.

One of the problems with being a web-developer/webmaster who works at home is the constant access to certain information (ie: porn). It is so easy to switch from the work window to another window. Normally this isn’t a problem because I could just let myself slide into a little jack off session to relieve some stress (waste some time, etc), but now I’m being serious about this restraint thing — well, it is a whole lot less fun to look at a porn or tease/denial talkies when I keep my pants zippered up. At first I thought it would be neat to see if I could resist the temptation, but after reading some of my favorite talkies and watching some fresh porn –now I have blue balls, which when you’ve been draining yourself quite regularly before, is a relatively new and unwanted thing. Now the only thing I can think about is going to town on myself and getting rid of this pressure — But I wont, and definitely not on the first week. Instead, I busted out some sudoku to try and free my mind a bit.

Second email from Mistress Katrina, and again I get instantly hard reading it. Amazing how that works out! I was not expecting that type of reaction: it didn’t help the tightness in my balls either. Of course she mentioned getting a chastity device — I dreaded reading those words! I knew they would come, but I still dreaded it (Nooo! My penis wants to be free! free!). I figure though, if I am going to be serious about this (and it seems at the moment that Mistress Katrina is ahead of me in this regard) a chastity device would be inevitable. Cant trust yourself, she likely doesn’t trust me either — I’m sure holding the keys to my orgasm is something she looks forward to.

Anyways, recollecting what has happened today and typing it out has got me excited again and the pain from loins is getting to me. Off to more sudoku for me! (ARGH! It has been a weird and tough two days so far)

I figured this blog needed some images. Here is one of the talkies that I like which I was reading today:

Those eyes, that hair, that cleavage! It’ll definitely haunt me in my blue-balled dreams.

So day I am starting my Restraint blog. I’m not really sure how to do this; but, what the hell, it can’t be all that hard.

Basically, I’m now trying to remain chaste — well, more like ejaculation-free — until Mistress Katrina allows release. I’ve tried to keep my self denied usually only for a few days until I felt that urge for release. Now I think this makes things more interesting. In fact, I just gone three days without release, and earlier today I had to empty my balls — Did so three times. Then I got a reply from Mistress Katrina that she would appreciate my blog and I realized that moment I was moving forward into a world of restraint and denial. Since that email and through writing this, I’ve had an erection in my pants.

Im not sure when the next release day is, but now I have to check every day. I imagine it will be sometimes soon since she allows a release every week, and I assume we are somewhat into this week already. Hopefully I can control myself, stay away from the porn that resides all over the internet (and my computer), try to forget the images of the local women wearing alluring clothes (it is Florida, we don’t do winter all that well), and my hands away from my little friend. Now giving myself a release comes with an extra burden, other than ‘oh that felt good, maybe I do that too much’. Hopefully I won’t disappoint myself or have to document an early splurt here on the blog.

I think that it enough for a first post. Still a bit hard, I think this is going to be tougher than I thought.